Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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