Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
