He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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