Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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