dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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