He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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