i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
