I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
