Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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