I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I would ride that face into the sunset
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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