Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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