Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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