The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
