Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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