I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize