words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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