if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
