I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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