For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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