Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
