shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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