Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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