i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
