I think I died a long time ago.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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