Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
