similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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