how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
