Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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