i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
bring money and cleavage
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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