I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
