walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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