he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
