You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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