I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
