Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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