I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
