That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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