At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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