evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
