Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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