I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
In America we eat man semen.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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