She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i came on her dog
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
