When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
