You're so nebulous sometimes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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