umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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