so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
