is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
