So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
