His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
