Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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