I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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