I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
