bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can I color on your dick again?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
