In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize