Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
