Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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