Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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