I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
